In the past couple of years I have been in a constant state of learning, moving from one course to another, mostly to learn, and partly in search of a calling. I haven’t found one yet, but I’m enjoying the ride. So far I’ve improved my French, learned how to make pralines and how to be a radio broadcaster, and I have no intention of stopping in the near future.

These days I’m on a photography course, which is one of the reasons I’ve been posting more pictures on flickr (check out the links on the right). I still do not consider my technique to be improved enough to make these picture much better than any of the previous ones, but this will come. Meanwhile, I’m enjoying the practical classes as an opportunity to take some pictures that I like, whether they are technically good or not. I hope you like them too.

Seven years ago, when I moved back to live in Israel, I took a vow to remain disconnected. For years I made an effort to avoid listening to local news or being involved in any way. I stirred clear of political debates, I did not vote and I knew very little of current local culture or world events. My ignorance brought with it peace of mind, and I was happy with that. When everyone around me feared  going on buses in case they will be blown up, I did not mind using public transport on my way to work in the morning, and when everyone else got pissed off about government corruption and stupidity, I remained calm.

This all changed last summer, when The Second Lebanon War broke out. I felt that I cannot stay in the dark while my friends in the north feared for their lives, and while both my brothers were called for service. I started reading the headlines in the local news sites, and like everyone around, I got sucked into it. Almost as if I never went away, I started caring again. As it was before, I feel that with care comes anger and fear, and tranquillity goes away.

Those feelings came to a peak last night, when I lost sleep with fury. I was upset after watching a so called journalistic record made for Memorial Day. The film, shown on what is usually a current affairs research broadcast on the state-owned Israel Broadcasting Authority, and which I expected to display a balanced and politics-free point of view, was anything but that. It told four stories, of four very brave men who gave their lives in the recent war to save others. However, the filmmaker chose to tell only four stories selected carefully to tell about people from only one side of the political and social spectrum of this country, giving a subliminal, but clear message, that they are the only heroes out of the scores who died for the protection of Israel. This was not the time or place for such message. Not on a channel that should be an official representation of everyone in the country, and not on Memorial Day, less than a year after a controversial war which is still being argued by committees of inquiry. Especially not without being announced, as if trying to pass on a truth without letting us know that it is one-sided and that there are many other sides to this coin.

This brings me to the dilemma. At the point where I am now, I know that I cannot go back to my previous policy of chosen unawareness. I also know that I will not be able to live long with such constant irritation about everything that goes on around me. I am not a patriot, and I do not feel a connection to a piece of land. I am here because my family and the people who are close to me are here, and if I could have taken them with me elsewhere, I would. I know this statement can make many people angry, but it is the truth and it must be said. I have a lot of respect to the people who feel differently, and to the people who gave their lives to protect these ideals, but I expect anyone who reads this to understand that there is full legitimacy to principles that are different to their own. How can I continue from here? Does this give me the right to vent?

Despite enjoying technology, I tend to be very sceptical. I did not buy a digital camera until I was sure the cameras are no longer beta versions, and I do not install updates before I’m sure they would not destroy something else. This is probably one of the reasons I only today signed up with last.fm, despite (or maybe because of) recent prophecies that increased royalty charges may kill online radio as we know it.

 Anyway, so far I have enjoyed listening to random music streamed to me at work, though the player kept crashing or getting stuck. It was also nice to come home and see that Renan from CityMule asked to be my friend. He’s quick!

Once I get the hang of it properly, I’ll add a little list of the things I’m listening to, so you can be my friend too.

 P.S. note that there was a danger of this April becoming the first month in over four years of blogging in which I did not post anything. Crisis over.