Theoretically, there are only four weeks to go before we will be flying away on our new adventure to the other side of the world. Practically, we should have been getting ready excitedly, but we are not. In fact, we still can’t say for sure that we are going. This is all very stressful, going as far as issuing an ultimatum. Not knowing is probably the most difficult part, and the constant change between hysteria and despair cannot be healthy. One day we are there, and the next we are staying.

Today I received my passport back, with the issued visa inside it. E. got a message saying that his visa problems still have not been resolved and are unlikely to be cleared up on time.

28 days to go and counting down.

To me, making a tape is like writing a letter — there’s a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again. A good compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do. You’ve got to kick off with a corker, to hold the attention (I started with “Got to Get You Off My Mind”, but then realized that she might not get any further than track one, side one if I delivered what she wanted straightaway, so I buried it in the middle of side two), and then you’ve got to up it a notch, or cool it a notch, and you can’t have white music and black music together, unless the white music sounds like black music, and you can’t have two tracks by the same artist side by side, unless you’ve done the whole thing in pairs and…oh, there are loads of rules.

Nick Hornby – High Fidelity

I may not agree with all of Rob Fleming’s rules for making a mixtape quoted above, but he does explain well the essence of the process. Compiling a mixtape is first of all an act of love in which a clear message is sent to the receiver. It is a note made of quotes of other people, using their words and melodies. however the collection of the songs in a certain order creates a coherent and a very personal memorandum.

With our relocation coming closer despite many uncertainties, I compiled a new mixtape for E., to explain about my fears of the move and where they come from, to tell him about my love that pushes me forward regardless of the fear, and to show my optimism about whatever is waiting for us on the other side of the world.

I uploaded some of the songs to my Muxtape. For technical reasons, this is only a partial list, as I could only upload 12 of the 19 tracks I chose. As you can see, the songs are divided into four main groups:

1. Songs about America – Most of them are not complimentary. Most (but not all) are sung by British artists. These songs were chosen because they represent both my roots and my fears. The years I spent in the UK were very significant to the development and maturity of the person I am now, so although I am not British, I consider Britain to be the source. London is also the place in which I first felt the real difficulties of relocation and they left a significant imprint.
2. Songs about love and devotion – Most (but not all) are sung by American artists. They were included to show my feelings for E. which is the reason I am part of this change.
3. Optimistic songs – Simple encouragement in times of panic.
4. Miscellaneous – Songs that E. likes that simply fitted in.

I hope you’ll like them too.

Recently I had an ongoing task added to my chores at work. Whenever a paper is jammed in the printer outside my office, something that happens at least a few time every hour, the cries of horror trigger me to volunteer to help. I go to the printer, pull open all the little doors and roll all the little cogwheels, and free out a bunch of ink-spoiled papers. Usually, the printer comes back to life for a short time, and then the weeping starts again.

The question is this: should I add “Printer Technician” to my CV?

I did it. I clicked the “Send” button. There is no easy way to go back now.

Time to start counting back.

Although decisions were taken last week, nothing is really final until it happens. Yet, one cannot wait for certainty until the last minute only to find that time is running out and there are too many tasks that need to be completed. This can be a good advice to any Project Manager, and I believe our move to Cincinnati is a major project indeed. Actually, E. is running a Gantt Chart, documenting all our tasks and their dependencies, and tracking our progress.

We start with what we know. This past weekend we started rearranging E’s inherited china tea sets and crystal serving dishes in the attic. (This can give you a good indication of where E’s grandmother was from). This is probably something that should have been done years ago and not only in preparation for a move away. There’s still a lot of work to be done before we will be able to lock the attic, leaving some of our belongings to the mercy of the chosen tenants.

Tomorrow another major milestone is expected. My visa appointment is tomorrow, and I must admit I’m worried about that part. I do have all my documents and forms in order, but I have been warned that the people there are neither kind nor helpful. The slightest discrepancy could send me back to the drawing board. If all goes well, I will probably hand in my official letter of resignation this week. After that, it will be much harder to go back.

When a baby is born its main input is liquid and when it finally upgrades to solid the parents are so excited about the achievement that they are happy to pick up all the residue that is left all over the place. On the other side of the spectrum, when an old person loses the ability to eat solid food it is a clear indication that the end is nigh. It is a sad occasion to everyone around, but mostly to the old person who is often fully aware of the process of demise and of what’s to come. When one loses the ability to eat solid food for any reason just like that during life, it is simply annoying.

I have been annoyed for almost three months now.

It all started on a lovely morning in which we were a bit more in a hurry than usual to get to work, so we gave up our breakfast and grabbed a bite on the way. Mine was an omelette sandwich from the café next to the office. It was a very tasty sandwich, which only made it more irritating when I felt something crack in the front of my mouth. No, it was not a piece of egg shell that was left there by neglect, but my fragile front tooth. A quick cab ride to the dentist ensued, and the tooth was pulled out completely by the kind doctor, leaving me with a gap that was covered by the pasted remains of the useless old tooth and a list of follow-up appointments.

The following visits included the creation of a mould from which the new crown will be constructed, the loss of said mould and a repeated process, a temporary crown and a useless rendezvous with the gum specialist who couldn’t do a thing at the time due to the loss of the mould. That engagement was rescheduled and finally took place this Monday. It was the most painful (but not the final) part of the treatment in which a mass amount of anaesthetic material was injected to make sure I don’t feel a thing of a bloody gum surgery.

The surgery was followed by a lot of pain killers and mouth rinses but not much food. Everything I have consumed since was either liquid, very soft or simply overcooked. I just can’t wait to bite on something nice. I don’t think I have ever before had such craving for an apple or a plum.

The up-side of the story is that I get to eat a lot of ice cream, and that within a few weeks it will all be over. I will be left with a nasty hole in my pocket but lovely zircon based crown in the front of my mouth.

We are booking an airline ticket for August 28th. Can the decision be more final that that?! Now it’s really scary!

Life-changing decisions are difficult, but if not taken one can find oneself regretting it terribly later. The hardest part is when the deadline approaches for said decision. Our deadline is tomorrow, and it is likely to cost us some precious sleep time.

Shortly after I wrote the previous post about our future plans, the anticipated email from the University of Cincinnati has arrived and the process started rolling once again. Tomorrow we will need to decide on whether to resign from our jobs on Thursday or wait for something better to come next year. The thought that we may leave our current lives behind us within five weeks is scary. I’m sure that I will need to thank my current state of heavy medication (more about that in another post) for any hour of sleep that I get tonight.

Prince William The Second, originally uploaded by Deviant Brainwave.

Prince William The Second, ruler of the house.

The hard part of giving up my car is my dependency on other people’s kindness to get me from A to B. It’s not too bad most days. I get a ride to work with E., and we usually leave work at the same time too. My work also have transportation arrangements that are not too bad. It becomes annoying when there are major events, like a wedding last week in which I stayed long past my bedtime waiting for my ride to be ready to leave. Or those days when E. needs to stay at work a bit longer when I have already completed my tasks for the day.

I am seriously considering getting a bike and riding to work. This will have the additional advantage of improving my fitness, a considerable improvement on my current lack of exercise. However, this can only happen if we won’t move to Cincinnati this year.

Meanwhile, if you’re going my way, please let me know.