Early this morning I woke from a dream. The room was still dark and a thought ran through my head, probably in continuation of my dream – it is Saturday, I can go to the bathroom and then get back to bed and sleep late. I lifted my head just a little bit, and then reality hit me in a great wave of disappointment. A few minutes later the alarm went off. The room was still dark.

Do you know that angel that sits on your right shoulder? The one that keeps telling you that the world is a wonderful place, technology is an enabler of relationships, and with so much of it there is no longer importance to physical distance? This is the same angel that encourages me to let my true feelings out on this blog, be honest about everything that goes on with me and share my life with my friends and family on the other side of the world. The angel also tries to push me to seek new people and friendships using Facebook and Twitter in the technology environment in which geeks like me thrive.

The angel also has a nemesis, the devil. That devil sits on my left shoulder. He reminds me that I need to be careful about what I write anywhere, after all, people have been sacked for less and social engineering is a major risk. I must never write about work or share my wicked side with the world. You never know who’s reading. This is mostly true for an international student in the US, since the Feds are also keeping their digital eye open. I must be careful, lest The Men in Black will be knocking.

Unfortunately, both Angel and Devil are right, something that complicates things considerably. The angel’s point was proven by the fact that both E. and I still feel isolated in Cincinnati and we fear we may have exhausted the offline channels in which we may be able to change the situation. The devil’s point was made clear today, by an email from an unlikely person at the university who quoted criticism on E’s blog. We are still baffled about how he came to read it, considering that the blog is still far from the top listings on Google.

I still have not made up my mind about whose opinion I should follow: should I listen to the angel while taking a risk, or fear the consequences and go with the devil? This is something I have been considering before today, but so far I have postponed my decision. Will you, dear reader, help me? Should I let off my guard and keep this blog current with my feelings and life events, or should I be careful and leave you with nothing but generic, harmless information? To blog or not to blog: that is the question.

As the title of this post suggests, nightlife in Cincinnati is nothing but a fairytale – a fruit of a mad Ohioan’s imagination. Last night we thought we may try to prove it right, but ran into a series of failures.

Initially, we thought we’d just catch a movie. The last time we went to the cinema was ages ago! We talked to some friends, but they had previous engagements, so we decided to go on our own. We drove down to Newport on the Levee, Kentucky. It is sad to say that the nearest cinema is in another state. As we crossed the Ohio river into Newport we realized that it is getting busy down there. The entrance to the parking lot had a sign saying that it was full, forcing us to drive on and get slightly lost on our way to turn around and find another parking area. In the second parking entrance there was another attendant, signaling that this one was also unavailable, and we should drive on – back on the bridge, and across the Ohio.

Back in downtown Cincinnati, we considered the alternatives. The only other cinema we could think of was all the way north across the city, in Fairfield. As we drove north on the I-75, I recalled seeing a cinema at the Kenwood Towne Centre, which is much closer. Surely a reason to change direction! However, upon arrival we found a closed-off section of the shopping centre where the cinema used to be. We gave up on the idea of a movie and decided we might as well drive home and just go to a pub, but try to go to one we haven’t been to before for the sake of variety.

First, we drove to the Establishment, only to realize that there was no parking to be found anywhere near the pub or surrounding streets. With a sense of Déjà-vu, we drove on to Rookwood Pavilion, with the hope of securing a nice pint of beer at The Pub. The ample parking was too good to be true. As we walked to the door one of the parking valets came over to tell us that the place was closed for a private party hosted by the landlord’s daughter. It was so sad we just had to laugh.

Eventually, we found shelter at Teller’s, where we were finally welcome to enjoy a martini and discuss the next movie we should get on Netfilx.

The best things in life are always found while looking for something else. Think bout it, and you will probably recall at least one story about a great restaurant you got to while lost in an unfamiliar area, or about a lover that was found when all you wanted was peace of mind away from it all. At other times, the things that we find are promises, and they don’t always deliver.

A couple of weeks ago we drove a few blocks away, remembering that we saw a cinema and thinking it would be nice to catch a movie without going too far. The sign on the top of the building said: “July 20 – Stellastarr”. Obviously, the building was no longer operating as a cinema – but finding about a Stellastarr* gig is just as good, if not better! Yes, I did know a gig was coming up, but I marked it in my calendar a long time ago and forgot about it since. It was time to reconnect to a few albums I haven’t listened to for a while, as well as catch up with Stellastarr*’s latest work.

I only managed to listen to Civilized a couple of times before the show, but this was not going to stop me! Especially not when the venue was so close to home and more importantly – E. agreed to join me!

The 20th Century Theatre turned out to be exactly what we thought – an old cinema. According to the web site, it had a magnificent history before it ended up as a small venue. Unfortunately, the magic disappeared somewhere along the way. Either that, or it is just not suitable for what it is trying to be. The most notable problem was the poor acoustics that caused the music to be muffled and any spoken passage to be unintelligible. Then there was the stage that seemed to me to be too low and too small, so that even the main act of the evening looked uncomfortable moving around. Needless to say – the two supporting bands had even less space.

The venue did not do justice to Shawn Christensen’s voice – one of my favourite Stellastarr* features. However, when listening to Civilized again I realized that the music on the album does not utilize it much either, so which came first? The set itself felt short – it delivered the hits, along with some new tracks from Civilized, and it was good, but something was missing. The dialogue was not there, or maybe the audience was half asleep? Either way, no chemistry was felt until My Coco was played as the closing number of the encores. Surely, it should have been on earlier in the show.

Yet, not many good bands stop in Cincinnati, and it was good to see one that does. It was also a good opportunity to catch up with Stellastarr*. Maybe here they will find something good while looking for something else, and come back for more.

Naively, before we moved to the US, I thought I was well prepared for a major change of atmosphere. After all, I have done it before and survived. Mind you, I was much younger back then, and there was less to risk. Still, it wasn’t easy.

The first year in the UK was tough. I was 22, ending a couple of years of traveling, and thinking that I can take on the world! During the first few months I was floating in Euphoria – exciting new people, new sounds and new flavours! Everything was going great! Then came the disillusionment, a stab in the back by someone I thought to be a friend that led to a grave disappointment and depression. It took a whole year for acceptance to sink in, and only then I finally started to enjoy my new life.

That was the reason I thought I was ready to go through it again. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and I thought I knew what to expect. Now I realize, that I was not entirely wrong, just very late. Last time the downfall was the result of realization that not everything and everyone around me was wonderful. It was a culture shock that came when the novelty expired and reality unraveled. A process that has two steps so far in my current relocation.

The first step lasted nine months, in which I was studying hard, surrounded by other (mostly) international students who were going through a similar experience. I think that during that time I learned more about the culture of India than that of the USA. The second step started a couple of weeks ago, when I began my internship. Now I am finally learning about the real local culture, and I must admit that I am not liking it at all. Culture shock is hitting hard once again.